Very few people have the desire to be put through the physical and emotional trauma of a real rape. I like to tie her up and have my way with her. You run the risk of alienating your partner if you just bring this up out of the clear blue.
This particular scenario is great for gang rapes. I did it once with a girlfriend and I've loved it ever since.
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Perhaps the best way to guide a partner into this is similar to what I described above for woman — introduce her to some rougher or more aggressive flavors of sex. It is appropriate, of course, to substitute any gender at any place in this discussion.
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I highly, highly recommend against using a stranger to carry out this kind of scenario in the absence of some controls or verifications of authenticity of those involved from both sides. There are a variety of reasons women have these. My wife and I are always role playing and love new ideas.
There are quite a few differences, but basically BDSM is more about psychological dominance, whereas rape is mostly about physical dominance though there can be a psychological component involved if desired.